Five to Ways Get Along with Your Kids

If your child comes home from school with an A on her spelling test, or a piece of artwork of which she’s particularly proud, seize the moment. Pick up the item, look it over carefully, ask questions about it, and show interest.

It’s not that difficult to show interest in something once per day that your son or daughter brings to you. In fact, it’s an extremely worthwhile goal for many reasons. It tells your child that you’re interested in him or her, that what he or she does is important, and, most importantly, tells your child that the next time they’re taking a test or drawing a picture, they’ll want to do their best because after all, mommy and daddy will see it.

1. Listen to Songs on Their Favorite CD


You might like classical music or rock ‘n roll. Your kids might like heavy metal, hip hop, or God knows what. Is it too much to simply sit with them for a few minutes and listen to two of their favorite songs, even if you’re secretly thinking, “How can anybody buy that, let alone record it in the first place?”

Have you even wondered why teenagers in those jazzed-up cars play their music above the hundred decibel level? They want others to hear what they’re hearing. Music and its lyrics have the ability to reach deep into the human psyche. Why not establish a goal of listening to two of your children’s songs at least once per week? Listening to music together, much like eating together, is a form of bonding. People seem to want others to hear what they hear and enjoy what they enjoy.

2. Bring Them into Your Discussions


Suppose you’re talking with your spouse and your children are nearby. How often have you excluded them from the conversation as if they don’t have a worthwhile opinion? As little as once a week, what if you were to say “Mark, don’t you feel that we XYZ…?” or “Allison, do you think we should…?”

After the initial shock wears off, you’ll find that your children are quite pleased to be called upon. In essence, what you’re doing is respecting them on the interpersonal level. You’re saying that they’re full-fledged human beings, even if they are smaller than you, and that they have opinions and observations that count.

3. Drop in on Their School or After School Activities


No matter how demanding your job is, or what a slave driver your boss is, at least once a month, you can drop in on your child for ten minutes at some activity that he or she would love to have you see.

When you catch your child kicking the ball over everyone’s head, participating in a sing-along, or simply having fun with other kids, you do yourself and your child a big favor. You indicate to your kid that he or she is special enough for you to break out of your routine now and then and see what’s happening at school or with the other kids.

Visiting your child unannounced minimizes your child’s need to have you around every minute you’re at home and enables him or her to be more how to buy prednisone online understanding when you’re traveling. After all, if daddy or mommy drops in on me unexpectedly every now and then, they certainly love and care about me.

Maybe you’ll be the only parent who does this, but so what? It’s your family. Why not set as a goal to visit your child once each calendar month at a school or afterschool activity and hey, if the spirit moves you, bring a camera along.

4. Say Yes A Little More Often


Kids ask to do so many things that for many parents it almost becomes automatic to say no:
  • Can I stay up later? No.
  • Can I get some ice cream? No.
  • Can I go across the street with my friends? No.
What’s the real reason behind some of these refusals? Is it fear for their safety or well being? Do you think they’ll be corrupted if some family rule is bent on one particular evening? Or, are you exercising authority the same way your parents did?

Often, we forget that although our rules are conceived with good intentions, some of them may be rather arbitrary. We don’t have hard evidence that each of the rules in and of themselves creates a desired outcome, i.e. a goal we previously established for our family and specifically for our children. Hence, saying yes a little more often than usual has its place.

Why not set a goal of saying yes one more time per week than you would otherwise? This is not so hard to monitor, since you’ll have to ponder the situation for at least a few seconds, and realize that you’re about to say yes when your instinctive reaction was to say no. If it helps, keep a running log of the times that you surprised your child with a yes. At the least, you’ll have ammunition for later when your child says you never say yes.

5. Seek Their Help


Do so you have business and financial problems for which you think your children cannot be of much assistance? Think again. For out of the mouths of babes sometimes come great ideas. In his book, A Whack On the Side of the Head, Dr. Roger von Oeck contends that the solution to problems often comes by looking at a situation with creativity — taking a different view than you did before. Who better to help you than someone small who doesn’t know all of the givens of the situation?

When it comes to using technology, one of my pet sayings is always give a technical problem to a younger person. Perhaps your son or daughter has an insight or two that you may never have considered. Perhaps what they say may lead you to think about something else that might result in the solution. How often have you asked your children for some type of support? Could you ask this of them as least once a week?

Whether or not you believe your children can help you with a particular issue, go ahead and ask them. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.