The difference between self-confidence and lack thereof is the difference between a chocolate cheesecake and Jell-O. Self-confidence is a prerequisite to influencing when you do not have job-related authority because you become a more appealing employee and co-worker, and hence your like-ability factor rises.

Your belief that you will succeed – or fail – can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.One of the fastest ways to increase your level of self-confidence is to learn from and emulate those who already have it. Judy Kuriasky, a New York psychologist, says, “Imitation is, after all, a key to learning. If you’re attracted to self-confidence in others, it’s a good bet that you have the capacity for greater self-confidence in yourself. That which we like or envy in others usually reflects our own values.”

Imitation is a major part of learning in our early years of life but can still work well in adulthood. Simply identify the people around you who seem to have the attention of others, and watch how they behave. Is it how they work, what they say, or how they carry themselves that attracts attention? Select one small behavior at a time and emulate it.

I Will,” not “I Could”

Self-confidence comes from feeling that you deserve to have and be what you want. A confident person writes a project proposal that says, “My project will accomplish xyz for our organization.” A less confident employee says, “My project could accomplish xyz,” phrasing which potentially communicates the employee’s own doubt.

Confidence means taking a positive approach which rubs off on other people, causing them to view you as more appealing, whether you work on software applications, in accounting, or with a forklift in the warehouse. Others around you will sense your confidence and buy-in to what you are selling.

Whatever you do on the job or in your personal life, you are more likely to do it well if you expect to succeed than if you expect mediocrity or failure. While others are consumed by self-doubt, belief in yourself and your ability to generate workable solutions to nagging problems can be one of the strongest weapons in your arsenal.

Self-doubts compromise your appeal. Worse, it’s difficult for you to effectively market yourself. It’s like trying to sell a product you don’t believe in. Your doubt hobbles your efforts, ultimately sabotaging your efforts.

So much of what we do, both at and away from work, is in cooperation with other people. When others sense that you are confident, they want to be around you, support you, and even be like you. Conversely, people tend to avoid someone who is continually worried, hesitant, or skeptical.

It is enticing for people to be around someone who has a positive, enthusiastic, can-do attitude. They will go to bat for you and generally assist you in being as effective as you can be.

Too often in the workplace, many coworkers know next to nothing about one another. Conversant people are more likely to be viewed and treated as confident people. Getting to know the people around you will make it easier later to approach others with a project idea or to ask for a favor. A self-confident person attracts fellow employees and creates positive partnerships within the company, thereby strengthening the overall fabric of the workplace instead of weakening it.

Accentuate the Positive

When you dwell on your mistakes, they can drag down your positive attitude. Instead, try to regard them as lessons, stepping stones to a higher vantage point from which you can obtain more knowledge and wisdom. Be glad you’ve learned a lesson and seek to avoid making that mistake again.

Becoming confident is not about perfection; confidence is about recognizing your ability to achieve your goals and weathering the occasional storms along the way.

Consider everything you typically accomplish in a day — even the small tasks. When you add it all up, you may be surprised at the length of the list and complexity of the tasks.

Conveying your best qualities in the workplace can help you in the quest to influencing others that you normally would have no authority over.

Perhaps you have capabilities and skills you hadn’t previously acknowledged or valued sufficiently. Don’t think all is lost if the big victories elude you for now. The smallest achievements can provide solid building blocks for increased confidence and appeal. From there effectively influencing others is well within your capabilities.

Your Byline, Your Credentials

Regardless of your field, you undoubtedly have information that will be of interest to your peers or clients. Don’t make the common mistake of thinking, “Who would want to read something written by me?” That’s a defeatist and unrealistic attitude. With thousands of magazines, newspapers, journals, and newsletters in print and web-related publishing opportunities, several million bylined articles appear in the United States alone each year. A significant number of those are by first-time authors.

All other things being equal, if you’ve had a couple of articles published, you’re better positioned to influence others than someone who hasn’t. In a nutshell, getting published:

• positions you as an expert — getting published means credentials for you in the article subject area.
• makes for attractive reprints — you can create a favorable impression by supplying coworkers, peers, staff members, and bosses with reprints of an article you’ve had published. Of course, be discreet to avoid seeming egotistical.
• enhances visibility for you and your organization — always mention your organization in your bio when you write an article. For example, “Joe Smith is a manager of XYZ Corporation.” Your article therefore will market both you and your organization.

Some organizations are sensitive about publicity and would prefer not to be mentioned in connection with an employee’s activities. Check out your organization’s policies before proceeding.

Thereafter, appropriately displaying or circulating reprints will further add to your air of authority. You may find that the benefits of getting published can continue for a surprisingly long time.

Lend Me Your Ears

Speaking to groups, even if they are groups outside of your organization, ultimately will enhance your status as an authority within your organization. Bruce Barton, an American congressman in the mid-20th century, once said, “In my library are about a thousand volumes of biography — a rough calculation indicates that more of these deal with men who have talked themselves upward than all the scientists, writers, saints, and doers combined. Talkers have always ruled. And they will continue to rule. The smart thing is to join them.”

What you say may be less important than the fact that you are able to say it with confidence. Others will pick up on your knowledge and devotion to the issues at hand and regard you as an authority figure.

At the most basic level, as you improve your speaking capabilities and your level of self-confidence — the two generally go hand-in-hand — you register a notable impact among those you encounter on the job. Even if you don’t actively pursue opportunities to speak to groups internally or externally to your organization, increasing your level of self-confidence has a succinct and highly favorable effect on others, particularly others you wish to influence.