Where are you when it comes to being spiritual? Is it a way of being for you, something to which you aspire, or something you never think about at all? Traditionally, society has tended to regard those who attend some type of religious service on a regular basis as spiritual. If you’re among them, more power to you. If you’re not, that doesn’t preclude your ability to be spiritual.

Actually, there are many ways to achieve such spirituality independent of regular attendance at religious services. Conversely, you can be a devoted member of a church and have little spirituality in your life. How can this be so? To get to the heart of the issue, first let me say that I believe organized religion to be a wonderful thing and that most people who are members of an organized religion benefit greatly from their participation.

I wouldn’t want to see any of the world’s great religions fall by the wayside, and I am inspired by the numbers of people who feel uplifted or gain a great sense of community when participating.

Acknowledgment of a Supreme Force

Religion, in general, and more specifically reverence to God, is a fundamental component of the lives of billions of people. Whether or not you are an active member of an organized religion, chances are high that you believe in a supreme power.

An extraordinarily high percentage of scientists believe in God, and a healthy number regularly attend religious services. Many have come to the same conclusion–the more you study the universe and it’s infinite majesty, the stronger is the conclusion that there must be a supreme entity behind it all. One’s amazement is no less when it comes to the laws of physics on the atomic and subatomic level. Albert Einstein once said, “God is in the details.”

No matter what our probes to Mars and Jupiter uncover, even if we’re able to terraform Mars or travel to other galaxies, it’s not likely that we’ll come any closer to unraveling the mysteries right at home, such as how and why a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Indeed, it will be easier to build a space station than to build a grape from scratch.

Religion Doesn’t Necessarily Equal Spirituality

Being steeped in religious observance does not necessarily equate with being spiritual for many reasons. If you’re inspired by the Sunday sermon, but never take the message to heart, i.e., go no further with it than the exit, then where is your spirituality?

If you preach or teach or talk about tolerance and acceptance, or about harmony and understanding, but your congregation members conform to specific demographics, ethnic background, income and social orientation–then why do you continue to preach or teach or talk about what you do?

If charity and kindness are important to you, and your principle means of upholding these values is annually to write a handful of checks to a few charities, are you living up to your ideals?

No, my friend, your attendance every Saturday, Sunday, or other day of the week at a place of worship does not necessarily equate with being spiritual. As so many people do, you could merely just be going through the motions.

Do you confess your sins or atone for your wrongdoing once a week, once a month, or once a year, but take no action to right your wrongs? Do you think that merely saying that you’re sorry and promising that you’ll be better equates with being spiritual? Dr. Stephen Covey says, “You can’t talk your way out of what you behaved your way into.”

Congregating to Exclude Others?

Do you believe in an afterlife? Polls show that at least in America, among those who are members of organized religions, a high percentage of people believe in an afterlife. Does your religion teach that only members of your religion can get to heaven? Many religions teach this.

My goodness, can you imagine the level of pretentiousness that this implies? Believe the way that we do, or be doomed for all eternity! So, a tribesman in the backwoods of Papua-New Guinea, an Aborigine in the Australian outback, or an Eskimo on the Aleutian Islands who lives in harmony with nature, who is kind to his fellow man, who believes in a higher entity, and who is spiritual each and every day of his life has no chance of getting into heaven because he has never heard of your religion?

Does your religion teach that only its members are chosen, implying that everyone else is not? Everyone is chosen, or nobody is.

More Worthy than Others by Virtue of Birth?

Does your religion teach that women are inferior and are meant to be traded and sold like property? Or, does it teach that women are here to serve men, and that a man may have several wives, but a woman may not have several husbands? Does your religion teach that only men may hold positions of power? Only men may be the high priests, the elders, the teachers, those held in esteem? Who do suppose conceived of such a hierarchy?

Does your religion hold that certain animals are sacred, while certain sects of people are to be shunned as outcasts?

Does your religion teach that newborn babies come into this world already guilty of misdeeds, when in fact they’ve had no opportunity to participate in either good or bad deeds? Does your religion teach that children are not full-fledged human beings? That they were born to serve you? That they have no rights of their own? That they can be ordered about as you see fit, with little true concern for their well being?

What does your religion say about the elderly, the feeble, and those who can’t care for themselves? What does it say about people who are physically or otherwise observably different from you?

Our Way is THE Way

Are all these rules about who’s important and who’s not, who’s got a lock on the “truth,” and who doesn’t, who goes to heaven, and who only gets a trip to purgatory, or hell, for that matter, germane to the pursuit of spirituality?

These human-made, and, more specifically man-made, rules and restrictions are little more than bizarre historical aberrations that over centuries have become institutionalized. Now, unfortunately, such aberrations are accepted by hundreds of millions of devotees who not only fail to stop and examine such notions, but can’t even contemplate questioning such preconceived notions.

Faith in God or faith in spirit is a wonderful thing. Blind faith in the artificial barriers which unfortunately arise between the people of one religion and the people of another have been the cause of much of the human misery on earth since the notion of religion was first conceived. From persecution of believers in one God, to the Crusades, to the Inquisition, to the “Holy Wars,” to the pogroms, to ethnic cleansing (which quite often has its origins in religious differences), some of the most brutal behavior that people have ever exhibited towards others has been perpetrated in the name of religion.

The noted psychologist, the late Dr. Carl Rogers, once said that nearly all dysfunctional human behavior boils down to the basic misbegotten notion that “mine is better than yours:” What I believe is superior to what you believe. My connection to the supreme entity is stronger than your connection. My people are chosen, your people are not. Our followers get into heaven, yours do not. Our congregation is blessed, yours is wretched. We will walk among angels, you will walk among devils. We practice the Word of God, and you, well, you’re just lost souls.

On the strength of such notions, in the name of religion, those in power have said to those who lack it, “Believe in God the way we do, or we will kill you. Worship what we worship or we will enslave you. Abandon what you believe in, for what we believe in, because we know we’re right and we’re here to save you.”

A Clear Path

Freed from the rules, restrictions, and impediments that organized religion may impose upon you, how and where might you be more spiritual in your life?

If you smile at someone, they tend to smile back. If you go out of your way to help someone, that person may in turn help another and so on. You can practice being more spiritual in little ways that add up quickly to your being a more spiritual person. There are some relatively minor things you can do to start the process, although nothing is minor when it comes to acting spiritually. Each little action sets in motion the potential for greater good. So, as you proceed through this list, don’t discount the value of engaging in any of these. They all have the potential to add up to more.

Spirituality Behind the Wheel

Sociologists tell us that when people get in their cars, they think they’re in some type of invisible vehicle. No one sees them as they motor down the road. If you curse or scream, who’s to know? Obviously, you’re not invisible and the way you conduct yourself as a motorist potentially impacts other motorists as well as pedestrians.

The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, fails to use their turn signal properly, or otherwise engages in improper (but not dangerous) driving, practice maintaining your composure. Don’t curse, don’t scream, don’t honk your horn, and don’t engage in one-upsmanship. If the other person is in view, look at them blankly, but not with disgust or anger or a mocking smile.

Often, the other person knows what he or she did wrong. If he or she doesn’t, venting your spleen is not likely to change their behavior.

Each time you can remain composed, you increase the probability that you will be more composed in other aspects of your life. Perhaps you’ll even be kinder to people in face-to-face encounters when they commit a transgression.

If you travel frequently, say as part of your job, and often traverse high traffic arteries, chances are you’ll have an opportunity at least several times a week to practice engaging in small displays of spirituality. As a goal, why not establish for yourself one composed response per week?

Personally Aid Someone Less Fortunate Than You

It’s one thing to write a check to charity, it’s another to encounter someone who is in need and aid that person on the spot. As a small gesture of spirituality, what can you do for someone you see right on the street?

When you have shoes that you no longer wear, but which are not necessarily in pieces, keep them in your trunk as you motor around town. Then, if you see a homeless person with less than sufficient footwear, and it looks like you might be roughly the same size, pull over. Without equivocation, get the shoes from your trunk, walk up to the person and tell them that you want them to accept the shoes. If he or she accepts, fine, bid them good day and be on your way. If he or she chooses not to take them, that’s okay, too.

Your goal in this area could be to give away each pair of shoes or other worthwhile item of clothing that you no longer want, perhaps on a monthly basis.

Serve as Part of a Group

If this is not your cup of tea, buy levitra in usa volunteer once a month to serve a meal at a local shelter for the homeless. If you’re a busy career type, perhaps serving dinner will work best for you. Whatever your preconceived notions about this may be, once you actually serve dinner to real live people, you’ll see that reality is different than you thought.

At first, I thought that people would be reluctant to speak up for what they wanted. Or worse, they’d be groveling, and I would have to do my best to remain humble. I also feared that I’d come on as some kind of “goody-two-shoes,” dispensing dinners with an overly pleasant, “And how are you this evening? Here’s a nice dinner for you.”

Actually, none of the above happens. Person to person, you simply serve another, as if you were in partnership. More peas? Less carrots? It’s much more matter-of-fact than you might imagine. They’re appreciative but not groveling. Some of the people who show up at a shelter are well-dressed. Perhaps they’re temporarily unemployed. Perhaps they had a financial emergency they were not prepared to handle.

The more often you serve others in this way, the easier it becomes to do it again. You start to get the notion that there are a lot more similarities between human beings than differences. The old axiom, “There but for the grace of God, am I,” is much more true than we all often acknowledge.

Look for the Good in Others

Will Rogers, a political satirist, entertainer, and beloved figure in the first half of the twentieth century allegedly said, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” Many people have interpreted Will Rogers to have meant that he could find something admirable in everyone he met. So, too, can we all.

Is there a co-worker with whom you have had a nasty relationship? Is there something good about this co-worker that you can draw upon, so that you can get yourself to actually say something nice to him/her at your next encounter?

Is there a neighbor with whom you have had a continuing squabble? What would it do to your relationship if you sent your neighbor a card or a brief note that said something along the lines of, “I noticed how lovely your garden was the other day, and wanted to let you know that I appreciate the work you’ve done in maintaining it.” Too syrupy, or, pardon the expression, too flowery? Guess again.

You’re going to be on this planet for a finite amount of time. Do you want to go through your life trading hostilities with people, never having the wherewithal to restore some semblance of civility to the relationship?

Consider five people at work or elsewhere in your life with whom you may not have a good relationship, but whom you can acknowledge. List them, and next to each person’s name, write a dash and then what is good about them. Do they maintain a nice garden? Here are some ideas for you in case you’re drawing a blank. This person…

• Is kind to the receptionist at work.
• Turns assignments in on time, and hence, supports the team.
• Walks softly past your office, so as not to disturb you.
• Greets you in the morning when you arrive.
• Maintains his or her office well.

Away from work, here are some ideas for finding the good in others. Someone who…

• Keeps the street in front of the yard free of debris.
• Is respectful of others’ needs for quiet.
• Has well-behaved children.
• Drives safely in the neighborhood.

Become a Better Listener to Others

Listening is one of people’s most underrated skills. Your ability to listen to another person, giving him or her your full and undivided attention, can be an act of spirituality, particularly if the other person needs someone to listen to him or her. In this rush-rush world, too often we want people to summarize everything they say.

There’s an old joke that if Moses came down from the mountain with the ten commandments this afternoon, the evening newscast, instead of citing all the commandments, would report only the top three.

Human beings have a profound need to be heard. When you give others your full and complete attention, in essence you’re telling them that you value them as people. All activity and concerns in your life stop as the words and emotions of another person take on paramount importance.

Consider the people in your life who have mattered the most to you and, chances are, they were the people that listened to you best. Whether it was your parents, a brother or sister, a good friend, a relative, a teacher, a coach, a co-worker, a mentor, or just somebody down the street, you tend to value those who value you by listening.

In Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse, the young Siddhartha speaks about his most well-developed skills. He can listen, he can fast, and he can wait. These talents don’t seem like much to the Western mind, but they come in handy if you want to increase the spirituality of your life. As a goal, why not decide to listen in earnest to one person per week in the work place that you would not have otherwise given such time and attention?

At home, give your significant other one good listening to per day; things will go better. Do the same with each child.

Judge Situations and Deeds, Not People It’s likely that you judge things, including others, all day long. Judgment is a necessary and practical skill. After all, if you want to choose the colleges appropriate for you, friends that share similar values, and the professional, social, and civic groups that you will enjoy being a part of, you need to make some judgments.

We all judge one another, however, sometimes harshly. Everyone can learn from each other. It is so easy to fall into that game, as Carl Rogers articulated, of “mine is better than yours.” It is too convenient to conclude that people who walk, talk, or look differently than we do, must be vastly different, and by extension, inferior.

Erroneously Ascribing Virtue

Conversely, we judge others, accrediting superior or noble traits to them when that is not appropriate. We base our assessment on the scant information we have of them as individuals. You see someone well-dressed or well-coifed and assume that they have superior intellect, are morally upright, or are financially sound.

Lookism is rampant in the world, particularly in the west. Those people who have an appearance that is more aesthetically pleasing are accorded privileges unlike others. Studies have shown that attractive defendants in jury trials routinely receive more favorable verdicts from juries than do their less physically blessed counterparts. If convicted, they receive a less harsh punishment.

Even newborn babies will spend more time looking at pictures of highly attractive models than they will looking at pictures of ordinary people.

An appreciation for aesthetics seems to be a built-in characteristic of human beings. Hence, do you prejudge a speaker based on his or her appearance and not based on the content of his or her character? Can you even listen to a person who does not fit your relative description of what he or she ought to appear like?

Finding the Good All Around You

If you believe that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, then handbaskets marked for hell will show up all around you. If you believe that civilization is at the dawn of a new era in which everyone treats everyone else with respect, evidence to that effect will show up wherever you go.

A woman once approached the spiritual leader Ram Dass after a lecture he gave. She said that she was having a terrible time finding spirituality in her city. She lived in New York City. Ram Dass thought about her predicament and then told her, “I want you to spend the next two years finding spirituality every place you go… in New York.” It’s not a question of where you live, but how you live.

A long-time fable has it that a man was passing through a small town and asked the shopkeeper what the townspeople were like. The shopkeeper thought about the question and asked what the people were like where the traveler lived. The traveler explained all that was good and bad about the people from where he was from. Most of his explanation was about what he didn’t like in his neighbors and fellow citizens.

When he was through the shopkeeper said, “Well, I guess the people around here are pretty much like that.” The shopkeeper meant that however you view people where you live is how you’ll view people if you move to a new location. Yes, there are certain local and regional differences between those who live in different places. If you accept the fundamental notion, however, that the similarities between people are greater than the differences, then whatever you experience in relations with others now is what you’re likely to experience someplace else. What about acting with spirituality right where you are, right now?

Sometimes, you see bumper stickers that say, “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Random acts of kindness seem particularly appropriate. Why not set as a goal to engage in some type of kind behavior toward a total stranger once a week, or if you have enough opportunities, once a day. It could be something as simple as holding the elevator door when you know someone is trying to make it in, or not giving someone a lecture when they put you on hold for a few more seconds than you would have preferred to be put on hold.

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” Mark Twain

Here are some other suggestions. Note that all of them are small, and entirely doable.

Hence, your goal could be to engage in at least one of these per day:

• Pick up some litter in the street or in someone else’s yard.
• Let others get in line ahead of you when it appears that their need is more urgent.
• Call back a party who apparently overcharged you, and remain gracious the entire time.
• Write somebody a thank-you letter when they weren’t expecting it.
• Write a thank-you note to someone you don’t know who did a good deed for your town.
• Keep your word.

Taking Your Spirituality to a Higher Level

Here are some goals you might wish to adopt in pursuit of being a more spiritual person. These are all challenging and potentially reachable, and you’ll be in charge of quantifying them, such as saying whether you’ll engage in the behavior daily or weekly:

• To reflect on and be thankful for all that has been given to me.
• To recognize the sanctity of all earth’s creatures.
• To deepen my understanding of human spirituality.
• To read the sacred text of my religion.
• To follow the teachings of spiritual leaders.
• To be kind and charitable to others.
• To be tolerant and understanding of other religions.
• To practice charity at home.
• To obey the ten commandments, or the important codes of my religion.
• To dispense good will towards humankind.

Enhancing your spirituality and focusing on becoming a more spiritual person will make your life more rewarding. Through your kind actions and inner calm, you may be able to attain feelings of inner peace and contentment.