Some friendships are celebrated, life-long relationships. Charlie Chaplin and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., had many reasons to be life-long friends (although Fairbanks died relatively young, while Chaplin lived to a ripe old age). Both were acrobatic individuals with well-developed acting abilities. Both had strong appeal to women. Along with Mary Pickford, they formed the movie producing company, United Artists, which has lasted until this day.

Friends in Peace

Jimmy Carter helped engineer a lasting peace in the Middle East between Israel and Egypt. These were two countries who had a long history of warfare with one another. When Carter got Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat together at Camp David, history was made. In 1977, these two great leaders signed the Camp David Peace Accords, and for more than twenty years, relations between the two nations have remained peaceful.

Anwar Sadat, following Carter’s loss to Reagan in the 1981 presidential election, during a visit to Washington, made a special side trip down to Plains, Georgia. He was going to visit his friend, Jimmy Carter.

Instant Matches

Speaking of Reagan, he hit it off so well with Great Britain’s Prime Minister at the time, Margaret Thatcher, that the two seemed like they had known each other for ages. Thatcher was nearly two decades his junior, but shared many of Reagan’s conservative, philosophical viewpoints. Reagan greatly admired Thatcher’s diplomatic skills, breadth of knowledge, and strong-willed leadership. Years after both were no longer in office, they maintained strong ties.

Likewise, Bob Hope and Bing Crobsy in show business had a lifelong friendship. Director Martin Scorcese and actor Robert DeNiro have had a personal and professional relationship spanning more than twenty years.

Michael Jordan, who could have been a golfer in another life, if not a superstar basketball player and mediocre minor league baseball player, hooked up with golfing phenomenon Tiger Woods. The two played a round of golf and shared insights as to the joys and burdens of being a worldwide sports superstar and media icon. Though Jordan is some thirteen years older than Woods, it’s likely that the bond that the two share will last for years into the future.

You, the Social Animal

Everyone could stand to have some good friends in this life. Most people would like to have a few more friends than they presently have, although sometimes they get so busy at work and with their families that they don’t have enough time for the friends they presently do have. Certainly, if you were able to easily attract into your life a handful of new, true friends, you’d certainly do it.

Why Do People Befriend You?

Whether you’re extroverted or introverted, outgoing or shy, have strong personal magnetism or repel most other people, chances are you have some friends, and you enjoy seeing them and doing things with them. Have you ever stopped to consider why these people are your friends? You know what you see in them, but what do they see in you?

Right now might be a good time to consider why people have chosen you as a friend. This might be the key as to how you can improve the friendship factor in your life — have more people befriend you more easily.

Are you, for example: * Loyal, trustworthy, fun loving, conversant, empathetic, generous, energetic, entertaining, witty, resourceful, or encouraging?

Take a moment right now to write down at least six personal traits that you suspect might draw others to you:

To further explore the friendship factor, consider other elements at play that may have resulted in a friendship between you and another person. For example, are you:

Close by Available Willing to drive Visible Lacking in conviction

Ready at a moment’s notice Willing to pay Willing to wait Easily convinced Easy to make laugh

It may not be flattering to consider the above, but in many ways, they are as important as anything in prompting friendships. Perhaps you’re some people’s friend simply because you’ve been around forever. Right now, why don’t you take a moment to jot down five or six factors such as proximity that contribute to your friendship with another person. And, while you’re compiling this list, don’t forget such factors as reachability, such as by phone, fax, or email.

Now for a little personal history. When or where did you meet your friends? In high school or college, on your first job, or on some local team you both play for? Are your friends confined solely to those with whom you work? Or among your relatives?

Chances are you’ve got a friend or two in the neighborhood, someone from across town, and a long distance friend, if not several. By identifying where and when you met friends, it may prompt you to consider yet other opportunities to attract friends into your life, if that is of interest to you.

Finally, consider a host of factors that may also enable you to bond with another person. For example, are you roughly the same age? Are you the same sex? Do you have the same role such as father, mother, single parent, and so on? Are you passing some of life’s milestones at roughly the same time? As you did before, take a minute or two to jot down as many as five characteristics you may have in common with some of your current friends:

Name that Pattern

Is a pattern emerging? For most people, one does, namely: You tend to attract people who are like yourself. Is that new to you? If it is, you have a marvelous insight. Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you’ll set goals to begin seeking friends that are not nearly so like yourself. In that regard, you’ll expand your range of experiences and your ability to engage in relationships with a wider variety of people. How exciting!

If you have friends from a variety of backgrounds many of whom are not like you, congratulations. Still, even among the diverse group of friends you have, there are other types of friends you could have and perhaps some day will have.